At age 6 I was hospitalized with a viral brain infection. I was inches from losing my life.
I had lost those 6 years and had to re-start everything. EVERYTHING!!
At age 13 I lost my dad. I miss his guidance.
Because of these two events I went through my teenage years confused and feeling awkward.
I lost both my grandparents, my Oma to Emphysema and my Opa to Cancer.
When I was 29 my mom fell and hit her head, resulting in a brain injury that will most likely plague her for the rest of her life.
In between I’ve dealt with other family health issues, alcoholics, my aunt having Dementia, inconsideration, lawyers, doctors, lawsuits, deceit, financial woos and uphill battles.
I’ve had problems with distant relatives.
I’ve had friends turn their backs and walk away.
I’ve experienced sorrow, tears, and loneliness.
I’ve been sick and to the doctors for many things.
Because of the brain infection that once was, I easily get confused. I have trouble keeping up.
I get tired, I get headaches.
I’ve been lied to.
I’ve been made fun of.
I sometimes feel inferior.
Relationships have not worked out for me.
I may lose more than I will ever win.
I sometimes hurt and I sometimes cry.
I know what it feels like to have your heart broken.
But………..
There is a lighter side; a side which I try to focus on.
Sometimes I may hate my life. Sometimes I may love my life. I usually try to find somewhere in between to rest, it’s what gives me the most satisfaction, the most happiness.
As much as I may have been wronged by others, I do not hate anyone.
I always see the good, or at least I try to.
I have a lot of love to give.
I accept that I will never find true perfection, only what I accept to be perfect.
I understand that there is no ‘meant to be’.
I’ve learnt to be good and true with my word.
I try not to assume.
I realize people will come and go.
I have some of the best people in my life with awesome qualities that I don’t think they even realize.
I am proud of my sister and of my mom and of all that they accomplish.
I am proud of where I live, my community, my country.
I’m not rich, but I’m not poor…..in so many ways more than financial.
I do have certain expectations……but far less than most.
I know that change is inevitable and as much as it can sometimes hurt I’ve learnt to roll with it.
The sun will always come up and there will always be a new day.
Regardless of all the crap I’ve been through in my life’s journey ……..
I still smile.
When I take my dog for a walk I plug in my MP3 and sing to the music.
I still laugh.
When I make dinner I can be caught doing a little dance in the kitchen.
I treasure other people’s happiness more than my own.
A lot of the time I am alone but not necessarily lonely.
I am independent.
I am creative.
I am sensible.
I am a laid back individual.
I understand compromise.
I have good character.
I am patient.
I am strong.
I am a dreamer.
I am so much more than this.
I am……. Me.
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