The hospital room was dark and quiet, until the young man in bed sat up with an urgency, and gasping for air. He was sweating up a storm and shaking furiously! The boy sat in his bed and let out a scream that would wake even the dead! Quickly the door burst open and the lights flicked on, as a nurse came running over to the bedside.
“Jack, what’s wrong?”
No response came as the boy just looked at the nurse that sat before him. She used both hands to rub his arms from shaking.
“We have to get you out of these drenched clothes and into some dry pajamas.”
Jack just watched on as she moved about the room.
“Did you have a bad dream? Do you want to talk about it?”
His head shook a stern no, as if he were scared. But after sitting in his silence for a moment, cradling his knees, he changed his mind and stopped the nurse before she left the room. “I’ll talk to Doc. Judy if she’s around.”
Once the nurse acknowledged his request and left he got himself up and out of bed and strolled around his ‘Marilyn Monroe’ postered room, in circles. Finally he came to a standstill by one of the pictures, a life size shot of the goddess herself. He looked it over from bottom to top and laid his head against it. Slowly, he started to bang himself against the wall, faster and harder.
“Oh my God, Jack!” The doctor entered the room and ran over to his side and stopped him from causing too much harm.
Jack calmed a little and cracked a slight smile from the corner of his mouth when he saw her standing there. “Doc. Judy!”
She gave him a big warm hug. “It’s alright, Jack.”
Jack then pushed himself away to jump back into bed. “No, it’s not! It’s not alright at all!” He got under the blankets and pulled them right up to his chin with such force that they almost began to tear.
Judy eased his tension a little by placing her hands in his. “You had the dream again?”
He gave a shy nod. “Yes. But this time it was much worse!”
She sat patiently to listen to his tale; she could tell that he was scared. “Come on, Jack. Its ok, the dream, the nightmare, it’s over. And I’m right here with you.” She re-enforced the grip on his hand.
“Ok. Well, I guess you already know what it was about.” He glanced up at one of his Marilyn posters. “I dreamt that I was in her room.” He cleared his throat and wiped the sweat from his forehead before continuing. I watched as two shadows entered her home to talk with her. I don’t know about what because I couldn’t hear anything, it was like watching one of those silent movies. And I couldn’t see them either, it was too dark. But I could see her just fine.’ He grew excited as he told it now. “She was upset when they left. She cried to herself as she undressed for bed. She slept in the nude, you know?”
“I’ve heard that.” She said it with a smile to play along.
Jack’s face glowed with excitement as he went through this part in his mind and he closed his eyes. “Watching this goddess undress was the sexiest and exciting thing you could imagine.” After moments of letting his thoughts wander a bit he opened his eyes. “It was also sad. She was crying the whole time. The more she cried, the more I got upset. Then......” Jack abruptly stopped in mid sentence.
“Then what, Jack? Then what?” Now Doctor Judy was interested in where this story was going.
Jack gulped in a breath and began again. “Four different strangers appeared out of no where. And just like before I couldn’t see their faces, talk, or even move! All I could do was watch. It was horrible!’ He pulled his knees out from under the covers and began to rock. “I could see the fear on her face as she screamed!” He was full of both terror and excitement in his voice. “I wanted to help. But I couldn’t! I couldn’t move! The men had they’re hands all over her. They pushed her down onto the bed, there was no struggle, and her body lay frozen, like a block of ice. One of the men then produced from his pocket a needle, filled with God only knew! The needle was then stabbed into her thigh as she looked on with terror! As I looked on with terror!”
The doctor scratched her head in wide-eyed amazement as she got up and started to walk around the room thinking over his incredible story.
“I wanted to yell out and kill those bastard’s who were doing this! I was dying inside! And so was she. The men just stood there watching, as her body lay motionless on the bed. But one last attempt was made as she rolled over onto her belly to reach for the phone, her arm stretched out far enough to push the receiver off the hook, but that was it. As her arm fell limp to the floor, my heart broke. Her assailants left the house, undetected and no signs of their existence. I was now left alone, looking on in horror. Marilyn was dead!”
The two looked at one another in silence before Judy spoke. “My God, Jack.” She prays it’s over. “What a horrible dream to have.”
“I know.” Jack hung his head in sorrow and let out a heavy sigh. “I have had that dream before, but this was the worst. I never saw her actually die.” He yells in frustration!
“Quiet, Jack, other people are sleeping in this hospital.” She put her finger to her lips.
“Sorry. I sometimes forget that I’m not the only loony in here.” He looked up to see how Judy would respond, She did not like that kind of talk. But she said nothing, just circled the room massaging her forehead as though it is all too much.
The doctor then stopped in her tracks, an idea struck her still. “You’ve been dreaming of her for quite some time, haven’t you?”
“Yeah, I have. Usually just of her on a movie set, or acting. They seem so real.”
She pondered over this some more. “These dreams are strange, that’s for sure. You describe them so vividly, like you are actually there.”
“It means I’m crazy! Doesn’t it?” His eyes dropped down and sadness overcame him.
She walked over to lift his chin with her hand. “Not necessarily.” Smiling to be reassuring. “You’re just confused, Jack. You are so wrapped up in Marilyn Monroe that you’ve confused your real world with your dream world.”
“You mean I’ve confused my world with hers.”
“Yeah, well that too.”
“But I’m not obsessed.” He said this in a very innocent like tone.
“Not obsessed? Jack, just look at your room.” Judy stretched her arms out to expand on her words. “All the posters, movies, documentaries, books, and memorabilia. You probably know more about her then even she did.” She took a pause just long enough to allow Jack to soak in what she was saying. “And now you’re dreaming about her.”
“I’m sorry I can’t help it.” His words sounded deflated. “I can’t help it.”
“I know.”
“Then why?” His tone quickly changed to anger as he pounded his fist into his bed. “Why do I have these dreams?”
Judy immediately went to his side in an attempt to prevent an outburst. “I honestly don’t have a conclusive answer for you, Jack.”
He pulled away from the doctor and jumped out of his bed. “But you’re the shrink, God damn it! You’re supposed to have the answer!” The two stared at one another, Judy waiting for things to simmer down, and Jack just waiting. “Well! Where’s your answer?”
“Well, Jack, I have a theory.”
His face started to turn a shade of red as the tension began to mount. “Theory-peory! Forget the theory. I want an answer my deary.” The anger erupted. Part of his schizophrenic outbursts was to mumble in gibberish rhyme. “Spit it out!”
Judy remained in her position, standing by the bed. Two male nurses half way entered the room after hearing the noise, but Judy waved them away, so they backed off and after some hesitation, left. She then spoke to Jack in a quiet, but stern voice. “You are going to have to calm down before I say anything.”
“Calm, calm, calm! I am calm. Just tell me!” Jack was moving around his room at a furious pace, from one corner to another. So much so that he hadn’t even noticed the two male nurses moments before.
“Jack, please.”
“Please-shmease.” He continued his hysterical rant. “Everybody always tells me to calm the balm. I’ll calm so much I’ll be dead, Fred! So tell me the theory, deary!!
“Snap it, Jack!”
Jack, still moving about the room, reached for his wrist and pulled at an elastic band. As it snapped back against his skin he froze in his tracks. He looked innocently over at his doctor, and took a few deep breathes. “I’m sorry.” He scratched at his neck as if to rid himself of an unseen terror.
“That’s ok, Jack. I understand that you lose control sometimes, but you have to keep trying. Come back to your bed.” Her voice was a forgiving one. “Ok, this is my theory. I think that maybe your dreams come from not only you knowing so much about her, but how much you are alike.”
“Alike? Marilyn wasn’t crazy like me.”
“Well, no. She wasn’t Schizophrenic. No delusions or paranoia. She didn’t talk gibberish or in rhymes. But you do both have, or in her case had, depression. Both of you were abused, and you yearn to be loved as much as you give it, Just like her.” She sat on the edge of his bed explaining things as if he were a child. “And in a way you both were betrayed.”
“Betrayed?” Jack showed confusion.
“Yes betrayed. Her by men and colleagues, you by your parents. Turning their backs on you like that.” Judy almost brought herself to tears when she spoke of this. “They abandoned you when you needed their help most, and if it wasn’t for your brother, I don’t know where you’d be.”
His face lit up. “Yeah, I love Roger.”
Judy dried her wet cheeks. “So that my friend, along with your tiny obsession, is my theory on your dreams.” They both smiled together. “And now that you can maybe understand these dreams might get better.”
“You think?”
“I do.” She showed a glimmer of hope. ‘You remember your little green monster buddy.” Jack just nodded. “You’ve improved a lot since him. You’re not as down on yourself. You talk and respond well to others. You’ve learned to let go of the hatred, and feel. And the green monster disappeared after we figured him out. Now, maybe she will too.”
Jack casually smiled.
“Dreams are ok, Jack. But these are starting to get a little unhealthy.” She stood up from his bed to stretch and walk. “And these irrational outbursts of yours have to stop.”
He looked at her in an apologetic way. “I know. It’s just these dreams make me nuts, and a little scared too.”
“Well, I’m sure you’ve heard this before; but knowing is half the battle. Besides, you got your brother pulling for you.” She paused to think and remind herself of another. “And let’s not forget that cute girl your sweet on. What’s her name? And don’t try and tell me you don’t like her, I know better.” Her smile was accompanied with a wink.
“Her name is Kate.”
“Ah yes, as in kiss me, Kate.” That one made Jack blush and hide his head under the covers in embarrassment. “You got her and your brother.”
“And you guys here at ‘The Point.’” He added.
“Well, we’re here to help.” She offered another look of comfort. “Now, you think you’ll be able to get some sleep?”
“I hope.” His innocent answer told her that he would be alright.
She stood by the door to wish him a good night. “Just remember, Jack, it’s only a dream.” He nodded to indicate the understanding.
The lights were turned off when she left, but the bedside lamp remained on. “It’s just a dream, just a dream.” He was trying to will his own reassurance by repeating it. Eventually he stopped and shut off the light. “I’ll be okay.” He laid back in the silence and the darkness of the room, startled by only a sound in his head. He shot up and turned the light back on. The room was filling up with fog and he rubbed his eyes. The fog remained. Then a shapely figure of a woman appeared in the shadows of his room, and when she approached, Jacks face turned to shock.
“Umm.....” He stuttered for words. “Wake up man, you’re dreaming again.” He slapped himself across the face.
“Don’t do that to yourself honey.” The mysterious figure spoke.
“I can hear you. I can talk. Can I move?” The question was rhetorical, but she laughed out her answer anyway.
“Of course you can, silly!” She was soft spoken.
He bent forward and squinted to see her. “Oh my God! You’re........ You’re......”
“I’ve been looking forward to meeting you, Jack”
“You know my name.” His jaw dropped down in amazement. “Oh my God!”
She laughed with elegance. “Stop saying that. I’m not God.”
“No, you’re not, you’re Marilyn Monroe.” He took a short moment to breath and then the excitement resumed. “Oh my.....” Jack clamped his hand over his mouth to refrain from saying it. “Am I......... dead? Because if I am dead I’m sure glad I’m with you.”
Her musical laughter continued to fill the room. “You’re not dead, silly.”
“Oh, good. Then I must be dreaming, this can’t be real.”
“What is real?”
“Not this.”
“Oh no.” She reached over to touch his hand and he jumped from the edge of his bed. “Is that real?
“Wow!” It seemed impossible to him. “No, I can’t believe this is happening! This can’t......... I mean your.... well, you know?”
“Dead.” She raised her eye brows to his question. “That’s it right? You were going to say that this can’t be happening because I’m dead, gone, poof. Well your right. But it is happening.”
“I don’t understand.”
“No?” She pursed her lips in thought. “Then maybe this will help.” She slid her hand up along the side of his face and planted a big kiss on him. “Now, you can’t deny that.”
Jack flew up out of bed as soon as her lips left his. “Whoa baby!” He hopped around the room to the tune of her laughter. “That was great!” An emerging thought brought him to a sudden standstill. “Why did you do that?” His look was quizzical.
“You mean the Kiss?” He just nodded to her question. “Because you wanted me to.” She quickly explained. “Maybe you didn’t speak the words, but you thought them. Somewhere in that mind of yours, you’ve always wanted me to kiss you.” She sat on sat now on the end of his bed and crossed her legs. “And that’s why I’m here, honey.”
“To kiss me?”
She drew her lips into a slight curl. “That, and for other reasons.”
“Like what?”
Marilyn cleared her throat. “Anything and everything. You got some things you need to sort through. I’m here to listen and offer my help.”
“Help?”
“You’re not going to make this very easy, are you? I’m here for you?”
He remained dumb founded. “Me?”
“Honey, you have to stop questioning everything I say.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s ok, Jack.” She wrinkled her nose, smiled and winked at him. “Like I said, I’m here for you.”
“Don’t be upset but I have another question.”
She found his innocence amusing. “Sure, Hon. What is it?”
“Why are you here for me?”
“Because, Jack,” She straightened her back and went to stand by his side. “It’s what you want. Just like that kiss, you’ve always wanted me here”. She then tapped at the side of his head. “So here I am.”
“Really?” He walked with her back over to his bed. “You can read my mind?
“Can I read your mind? Jack, honey, I’ve been in your mind since you saw my first movie. The day you hung my first poster in your bedroom at home.” She playfully stuck out her tongue and giggled.
He shook his head and leaned down onto his bed. “This is too much.”
She huffed. “You’re right. It’s late and maybe you should go back to sleep. I just wanted to come by and say hi. Hi.” She was getting ready now to start her decent. To where he did not know.
“No, don’t go.” He pleaded through sleepy eyes that were moments ago wide awake.
“You need to get your rest, Jack. You’re talking and yawning at the same time.”
“You sound like my doctors.”
“They are only here to help you, Jack.’ She was standing in the corner shadows. “I’ll see you
again real soon, I promise. All you have to do is think of me and I’ll be here.” She blew him a
kiss and as the figure of Marilyn evaporated, Jack’s head fell to his pillow and his eyes closed.
***************************
“Morning, Jack.” Nurse Nancy entered the room followed by another male nurse pushing in a breakfast tray of cereal, toast, and juice. While he placed it on the corner desk, she pulled open the blinds to his one window that overlooked a river which flowed behind the rear of the hospital. “Did you have a good sleep?”
“Of course he did.” Chester, the male nurse, started joking. “I’ll bet he had sweet dreams of this beauty.” His hands outlined the figure of Marilyn Monroe on one of the wall posters, almost touching it.
“Don’t touch that!” He sprang to his feet. “Hands off!”
Chester backed away with raised hands.
“Jack!” Nancy’s voice snapped in authority. “Chester didn’t mean anything by it. Eat your breakfast and then get washed up.”
“I’m not hungry.” He was now in a cranky mood.
“Come now, Jack. You have to eat, you hardly ate anything yesterday and you’re thin as a rail as is.” Both nurses’s showed concern.
“I’m not hungry!” His voice raised a notch. “Are you deaf?” Chester and Nancy looked at one another while Jack crawled back into bed.
“Fine!” Nancy was impatient when he got like this, a strain most nurses shared from dealing with too many patients. “When I come back it better be gone, and you dressed. I don’t want to put you back on any of the heavy medications, you’ve been doing so well.” Jack was only given mild sedatives to relax him when he got frustrated or had irrational outbursts, as opposed to the antidepressant and antipsychotic drugs he was given when first committed.
When they left the room Jack continued to lye in bed, not sleeping, just being lazy. After a few moments of stretching his body and rolling around he got up and moved into the bathroom. The mirror showed a long drawn out freckled face, so he began to run the sink and wash himself.
Almost every morning he had thoughts about letting the water fill so that he could immerse his head until the last breath. He attempted it twice but had failed because the water would automatically shut off when it reached a certain level, and bathtubs were not installed for use in the rooms. The main facilities were in the central bathroom, and a nurse was always present. He stared at himself in the mirror with a look of sadness.
“Hi, Jack.’ He turned around in a moment of panic only to be both relieved and overjoyed at seeing his smiling goddess standing against the wall. “Not even a toilet cover to sit on in here.”
“You’re back.”
“I am.” She walked past him and into the bedroom. “My oh my, this room of your looks even more dismal in the day light. What’s up with that?”
He followed her closely, like a puppy dog. “They don’t give us much here in the hospital. I was lucky to get those allowed.” He referred to all the posters. “All of my movies and stuff are kept out in the lounge area.” He hung his head as if sulking.
“Why is that, hon.’?” She questioned it with innocence.
“Some kind of rule. They don’t allow us whakos to have too many things around that could be used to self inflict harm, or some foolish thing like that.”
“Well I’m sure they have they’re reasons. Honey, you are here because you need some help with a few problems.” For not having been around a lot she rationalized the situation well. “And you are not a whako.” Marilyn was very sincere as she talked to Jack.
“Whako fits when you are in a place like this and when you have acted the way I have.”
“Well, I don’t think it is a very endearing term, and I don’t like it! Do you?”
“Do I what?”
She rolled her eyes and chuckled at his question. “Like that word.”
“Oh. No, not really.”
“Does anyone else call you that?”
“No.”
“Ah, then it is a self inflicted wound. We will have to fix that. We can start by you telling me why you would want to give yourself such a name.”
She looked at him waiting for him to start. He then slowly began to ramble on about how he felt inside, being in the hospital and what led him here. The anger and hatred he had displayed when he was in school, fighting with other students, teachers, and his parents.
“All stupid things too I suppose. I don’t know why.” He shrugged his shoulders.
“Sure you do.”
Jack then started to get upset. Marilyn took notice but remained very nonchalant and laid quietly on his bed.
“Honey, there’s no need to get upset.”
He huffed in frustration. “Then why do you say ‘Sure you do’ like that? Like I’m supposed to know. I said I didn’t.”
Marilyn then stood and folded her arms. “First of all, don’t imitate me because you do a bad job at it, my voice is much more deep and sexy.” She smiled. “Second, you sure as hell do know why you acted like that, otherwise you would have never brought it up.”
“I’m confused.”
She went on. “I’m not poking for any information here, Jack. You’re the one offering to tell, it’s all in your mind, coming form you. Like everyone else, I’m just here to help you spit out what you got locked up in there.”
He looked at her, knowing that she was right.
“So let’s try again, why all of the trouble?”
He stared at her blankly for a moment and then began with his parents. The problems he had in communicating with them. The family therapy sessions were fine, but it was the stealing, lying, seeing things, and suicide attempts at home that drove his parents to leave. “They dumped me in here when I was sixteen, which was a year ago. I haven’t seen them since.” He looked down. “They never paid much attention to me. I guess I did some of those stupid things to try and get their attention. It never worked. One time my dad even said right to my face that I was a mistake, a disappointment. Finally they had enough. Now I have no one except for my brother.”
“You mean to tell me there is no one else?” She looked and hinted about the girl in a photo on his desktop.
“There is all the doctors and nurses here.” He knew what she was getting at but did not want to talk about it. “They can be a major pain.”
She let the previous question go. “Why, what do they do?”
“Just things. Like this morning they got down on me about breakfast.”
She looked over at the tray. “It looks very good, and it looks like you could use it.” She started tickling his thin body and he giggled. “Men only look good with some meat on their bones. Trust me, I know.” It wasn’t too long there after that Jack moved over to his desk and began to eat.
She whispered in his ear. “I’m proud of you.”
***************************
“Hey little brother, how are thing’s today?” It was Roger standing in the doorway, he was two years older than his brother. Their good friend Kate had come along for the visit, she was a classmate of Roger’s as well as a supporter to Jack. It was mid afternoon on a Saturday, so no school was being missed. “How are things today?” Roger had made certain that the abandonment of their parents did not include them paying the hospital bills.
“It’s good to see you.” Jack went over to welcome his brother with a hug. He then stared joyfully at Kate, Roger smiling at Jack and his secret crush. “Hi, Kate.”
“Hey, Jack.” She knew of the admiration and blushed every time.
“I’m glad you came to visit, both of you.”
“Want to go outside for a walk, Jack.” Roger, like the nurse’s, liked to see Jack get outside.
“No, I’d prefer to stay in here.”
“Same old Jack, likes his privacy.”
“Yeah I do, is it a big deal?” He showed a little irritation; quick to be set off at times.
“No need to jump on the offensive.”
Kate slightly brushed her hand across Jack’s shoulder, something that always turned any feelings of ill behavior. “It’s ok, Jack, we can stay here. It’s just fine.” The two smiled at one another as Roger pulled up two extra chairs to Jack’s desk.
“So, Jack. How are those wild dreams of yours?”
Jack was a little hesitant to speak; he was a little embarrassed to talk in front of Kate. She was someone he did not want thinking of him as still crazy, part of him didn’t even want her to have to see him in here. “They’re ok I guess.”
“Come on, Jack. You can talk to me you know.” Big brothers intuition told him that it was the shyness of a crush holding him back. “It’s ok, Kate’s not going to judge you.”
“I’m here because I want to be your friend. I want to listen.” She could see that Jack had more than friendship on his mind and she smiled with flattery.
“Ok.” Jack went on slowly to describe his great appreciation of Marilyn Monroe, leaving out his fantasies for Kate’s sake. He ended up by confessing his latest one on one visits with the Hollywood goddess herself. Roger looked disheartened at the news.
“You mean to tell me she was here talking to you this morning?”
“That’s right.” Jack was giddy about revealing all of it now. “She got me to eat my breakfast, she said that real men needed to have some meat on their bones.” Kate laughed at the remark, but seeing that Roger disapproved she immediately stopped and apologized.
“This isn’t good, Jack.”
“Why?”
“Dreams are one thing, nightmares are one thing, but hallucinations aren’t good for you.” Jack became befuddled at his brothers statement, he never thought of her as someone made up. “I was hoping you were getting better.”
“I am!” Voices were starting to rise. “Come on, Roger. I like having her come around.”
“Oh, God.” He could not believe the argument they were now having.
“You know it figures that I would tell you something and you’d get mad!” Jack rose to his feet and continued the war of words with his brother. “Marilyn is a good person who helps me.”
“The doctors and nurses are here to help you, not an imaginary person.”
“Shut up! You make it sound like you want her to go away!”
“I do.”
Jack threw his hands in the air. “What?”
Kate then tried to intervene as peacemaker. “Come on guys, let’s calm down.”
Jack then looked over at Kate with anger in his face but quickly began to soften until his gaze redirected to the doctor and the three male nurses who stood in the doorway.
“Oh great!”
“We can hear you out in the hall.” Doctor Judy began to slowly inch her way into the room. “What is the problem here?”
“Nothing!” Jack was becoming even more frustrated with her presence
Roger showed some smugness and concern. “Tell her about Marilyn, Jack. Go on if you think it is no big deal.”
The doctor reached out to take Jack’s hand but he drew back further. “Is this about your dreams?”
“He is doing more then just dreaming of her. He says that she actually comes to visit him.”
The doctor shook her head. “Really, Jack. Let’s not go through this again.”
Jack remained silent while looking around at everyone with a bit of desperation.
“How long has this been going on?” Judy was probing and was a bit happy as long as she could get Jack to answer and not just shut down and have his brother speak for him.
“Since yesterday.”
“Oh, Jack.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
Roger let out a small disapproving grunt, much to Judy’s chagrin. “You are kidding right? What’s wrong is she is dead! Jack, you are talking with a ghost!”
Jack’s face reddened with both anger and embarrassment while Kate looked on in with sympathy in her eyes.
“Ok everyone, let’s just calm down.” The doctor then tried to guide Jack to his bed. But something inside the boy snapped and he began to struggle and resist. Immediately Chester and the two other nurses come over and grabbed a hold of Jack to help Judy place him in bed.
“Get off of me!” Jack was yelling as he was held onto. Roger and Kate were up from their chairs and moved to a corner of the room; watching with painful eyes. Once on the bed, things seem to settle a bit.
“So now you not only dream of her, you see and talk to her?” Judy sat on his bedside and bit at the corner of her lips with concern. Jack just stared in anger. “Why do you think that is, Jack?” The doctor remained by Jack’s side while he began to squirm in place. The nurses still held on, one at the arms and the others at his legs. Jack was in no mood to answer.
“He’s obsessed with her.” Roger felt fidgety and blurted it out.
“Shut up, squealer.”
“I only want the best for you.”
“Sure.”
The doctor interjected herself to try and resume control again. “Of course he does, otherwise he wouldn’t have had your parents pay for this.” She knew Roger loved his younger brother and only wanted to help. But sometimes he simply needed to butt out. He fueled Jack’s anger. She had spoken, or argued, once with him about this. But now was not an appropriate time to rehash that.
The rage in Jack trembled. “Fuck my parents!”
The doctor’s face lowered in disappointment. She knew that his parents deserved nothing more, but she still did not like him to speak that way.
After a few moments of silence Jack settled; a switch that controlled his mood was being turned on and off. “Why is everyone so glum? Marilyn is a really nice person.”
Judy placed her hand on Jack’s. “That’s just it, Jack, she’s not a person. She is all in your head.” His face began to turn red again and the struggling resumed, becoming more of a fight. “Don’t do this, Jack.”
“You’re doing it! You, you, you!” He was yelling. “Let me go!”
The doctor closed her eyes as if tired of doing this again. Out of her pocket she produced a bottle of pills and a syringe.
“No! Please don’t.” His voice became very timid as tears started to roll from his eyes. Roger looked on from the background in despair; Kate hid her face in his shoulder, she could not watch. “Get those things away from me.”
Judy was sympathetic but knew what needed to be done. “I’m sorry, Jack, but you brought this on yourself. It’s for the best.” She readied the sedative to give.
“You Bitch!” Jack spat in her face and resumed the fight.
The nurses not only held on as tightly as possible but begin to place on restraints. Once properly secured, the needle was injected into his thigh and it very quickly began to take it’s hold over Jack. The nurses kept hold while the doctor force fed Jack two capsules from a bottle.
“What are you giving him?” It was a big brothers job to understand what was happening.
“The needle was to help him relax, these pills are Antipsychotics.” Judy held the bottle up for him to see. Kate, still buried in Roger’s shoulder winced at hearing the word psychotic. Now that the battle was over the doctor requested that everyone leave.
Roger gave Jack a slight tap on the leg as he slowly began to walk out of the room, head held
low. Kate went over to Jack’s side, looking down onto his motionless body strapped to the bed
and she bent over to gently kiss him on his forehead. She then walked away with tears staining
her face. Before the door to Jack’s room was shut closed Roger looked back at his younger sibling,
whe almost looked dead, no movement or sound. Things were a mess.
***************************
Roger turned to Kate outside. “I’m sorry that had to happen. I’ve seen it before but I thought he was getting better.”
She shyly smiled. “He was so happy when we got here and it changed so quickly when you started arguing with him.”
“You think I should of let it go?”
“I don’t think it had to come to that.”
He hung his head. “I know, I feel bad about that. But we can’t give in to his delusions and let him think it is ok, otherwise he will never get better. I want him to get better.”
“I know you do. It is just hard to see something like that.”
Roger chuckled to himself. “When he wakes up tomorrow he’ll probably spend the day beating himself up for what just happened.”
“Why?”
“For having to of made you watch that.”
Kate again smiled and turned a shade of red.
***************************
“Wake up, sleepy.” The figure of Marilyn Monroe standing at the edge of the bed was like witnessing an angel as Jack cracked open his eyes. “Hi there, sweetie.” She quickly helped to ease him back into bed, as he was unable to move from the restraints.
“I want to get up.” His voice was soft and dry when he spoke.
“It’s best you stay put. The doctor’s were only trying to help.” She became a bit bashful with her next words. “That is why I think I should leave.”
“What? No!” He was too exhausted to give much of a plea, but he tried.
Marilyn empathized with the boy in front of her. “Jack, you have so much more going for you in this life then me, you just need to open your eyes to it.” She gently caressed his face while explaining what he could have and do if he worked at getting better. “Having all of these people around to help you is a blessing, so why push them away? Work with them to get yourself better, Jack, because only you can decide on whether you want that or not.”
“What if I don’t? What if all I want is you?”
She smiled and scratched her chin. “Jack, I will always be with you, on the inside. But you’ve got to be here, on the outside.”
“What do I have that’s so great here, on the outside? Society has already presumed me crazy, insane even. I’ve been kicked out of four schools, my parents have left me, and I have no friends.”
“What about your brother, Roger?”
Jack frowned. “I think he sticks with me because he feels it is his responsibility.”
“He loves you and you know it.”
Jack says nothing to that. She decided she needed to take a different approach, and walking around the room to think she finds her solution. She then grabs hold of a picture from his desk.
“What about her?”
“Kate?” By the look on his face and sudden twinkle in his eye she knew that she struck a chord.
“Aha, pay dirt! Yes, Kate. You like her?” Marilyn was making a little fun too. “Isn’t she worth trying to get better for?” He did not even have to give it much thought, he knew she was right. “You can’t fool me, Jack; I know she’s worth it. I know because I’m you, Jack. Your thoughts and hopes.”
“Then don’t leave.”
“Oh, Jack. My dear sweet boy. Look what my being here has caused.”
“What if I promise not to do it again, you know, act this way.”
Marilyn stuck out her lower lip. “Even if I stay for a little longer eventually things will still have to come to an end. The sooner I go the better.”
Jack paused for a moment. “Well how am I going to get better for Kate without your help.”
She smiled and went over to the bedside to kiss his forehead. “At least now you know what
you want, that’s a start. Tell you what, I will stay for now and we will work on it some more
tomorrow. You need your rest. Those drugs they gave you were pretty strong.” She goes to leave
as he falls asleep.
************************
Over the course of the next few days Jack began to partake in more one on one open discussions with the doctor and soon even managed to venture out into the main lobby and join the in-group sessions, with a little private coaxing from Marilyn. He continued to eat well and even started exercising in his room during morning hours while Marilyn would stand there and play coach.
Visits with his Brother became joyous events as they would go outdoors for walks
and joke around. To Jack’s dismay though, Kate did not visit. Roger explained that her last visit
freaked her a little, but reassured him that her absence was only a temporary one.
************************
“You have been doing real well over the past few days.” Roger spoke while he and Jack
were sitting in the lounge playing cards.
Jack just smiled.
“And looking a lot better too. You are actually wearing something other then those old, grey
flannels and you have more colour in your face.”
Again, Jack simply smiled.
“You are just loving the praise aren’t you?”
“I am.”
“Well, how about this?” Roger gently pushed at Jacks shoulder.” I am proud of you.”
“Really? You are?” Jack looked surprised.
“Yep. And I love you too.”
“I know.” Jack reached out and touched his brothers hand. “You have always been there for me.
You are like a brother and both my parents all rolled into one.”
“Yeah, well, screw our parents! They don’t know what their missing out on.”
Jack’s face lit up into and glowing grin. “Two of the best guys to walk the face of this earth.”
They both looked at one another and laughed for a moment until Jack turned his glee into a
look of concern. “Roger?”
“Yeah.”
“You think when I get out of here I’ll ever have more then just you? Not to say you are not
enough, I mean I'm glad I have you. But do you think I can ever have more?”
Roger smiled and winked. “Well, I’m glad you said ‘when’. What is it you want?”
“I don’t know. Things. A job. Friends.”
“Kate?”
Jack shied with embarrassment.
“I know you are sweet on her, Jack. I think she may even like you a bit too.”
“Don’t say that.”
Roger’s brows slanted. “Why?”
“Because it is not true.” Jack said it like it was an absolute; although he wished it were true.
“Maybe it is. There is no point in driving yourself crazy over it until you know for sure. I mean
I really don’t think I am the reason she comes here.”
Jack looked soured. “She hasn’t been here, not since…….. that day.”
“You scared her.” They had been over this, but he could understand his brothers worry. “I’m pretty
sure she’ll be back.”
***************************
It was late in the evening and Jack stood in his room with Marilyn. “What should I do now?”
Marilyn put her hands on his shoulders. “Tell Kate how you feel.”
“Are you nuts? She is not going to want some crazy person telling her that!”
“How do you know?” This was true. “I’m pretty sure she at least knows you have a tiny crush.
So why not let it out, start from there.” She winked at him and blew a kiss from her lips as she
took a step back. “And who knows, she might even like you back.”
“You sound like my brother.”
She grinned. “He’s a pretty smart guy, you should listen to him.”
“I don’t know.”
Marilyn put a finger to her chin and gave thought. “Dance with her, Jack. Then you’ll know.”
Jack shook his head. “I don’t know how to dance.”
“You don’t?” She was being coy and offered some musical laughter.
“You say that like it is a crime.”
“I’m sorry, it’s just that dancing is fun and exciting. You show who you really are through
dancing.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, once I danced with this guy who moved like a penguin.” She illustrated with a short, stiff walk. “He was a nervous wreck.” Jack began to laugh at her
actions and funny facial expressions. “Or a guy that just dances simple, like moving his feet side
to side and never does anything else is kind of shy. One’s that refuse to dance are scarred of life.
People who flail their bodies about without a care in the world, are usually the selfish type who
only see themselves as what matters. Then there are the type that close their eyes and let
themselves move slowly to the beat of the music, and good lead or not, they are the type who know
how to relax and enjoy life with others, they’re the cool ones.” She moved across the room to the
radio on the boy’s desk and turnd on an upbeat rhythm song and started to dance around Jack. He
watched her and took up his laughter again. “Come on, Jack. Dance with me.”
Jack held his hands up like a stop sign. “I can’t.”
“Sure you can.” Marilyn took a hold of his hands and slowly began to move to force him to
move along with her. “Close your eyes, feel the music.”
He started to get it, then stoped. Without a word she grabbed a hold of his head and kissed him
while continuing to dance. He started up again as the kiss lasted, very smooth, and remained dancing
with her even after their lips parted.
“See, I knew you could do it.”
Jack smiled and lookd down at his feet then up at her. “I’m dancing. Who would of known I
was this good.”
Marilyn beamed proudly back. “You are, Jack. You’re the best! And you’re so cool.” She shot
a wink at him. They continued dancing until the music faded. They then both collapsed onto the bed
laughing.
“That was so wild, but I don’t know if I can do it without you.”
Marilyn gently punched his shoulder. “Sure you can.”
“Well maybe, but I don’t know about slow dancing with a girl.”
“Slow dancing huh?” She smirked at him. “That Jack is easy, all you need is the right person.”
Jack got back up to his feet and waved for Marilyn to join him. “Then come on, teach me.”
She looked at him with innocent eyes. “I’m not the right person, Jack.”
“What are you talking about? Of course you are.”
“I’m not, and I think you know why.”
He then took a deep breath before speaking, not wanting to say the words he was about to admit.
He leaned his forehead to hers. “You’re my imagination. And you have to go.”
“I’m sorry.”
Tears began to roll out.
“I love you.”
“I know you do, Jack, and I’m so happy that you do.” She kisseed his forehead and held him
tight as they both continued to cry. Jack then sucked back the tears and closed his eyes hard. When
he opend them she was gone.
***************************
The doctor was doing some paper work in Jack’s room while he was having a mid afternoon
snack and reading a book. Judy then stoped writing at the desk and looked up from her work
smiling over at the boy in his bed. “You’ve been doing real well these last couple of weeks.”
“Thanks.” He stopped chewing on his apple. “I’m feeling better too, on the inside.”
“I’m happy to hear it.” She was so thankful to see things turning around for the better. “Let’s
hope it lasts this time.”
“I think it will, I have goals now.” Since Jack’s last encounter with Marilyn he was starting a new lease on life. He still had all of the posters and continued watching all of his movies, but he wasn’t obsessive about it like before. The doctor had even suspended giving him any further medication.
“Really?” She was pleased and showed her approval. “Tell me about your goals.”
“For starters, I don’t want to have to go back to taking that medication.”
She laughed. “I don’t blame you.”
“There is also my brother, Roger. He’s done so much for me.”
She pried a little further. “Anything else?”
“I think I’d like to go back to school someday. Maybe art or music.”
“Good for you.” She was looking for more then just that.
“I think I’d like that.”
“What about that girl......... Kate.”
He blushed.
Right on cue, Kate appeared in the doorway, on her own. Jack became excited as soon as he
saw her but tried to keep his enthusiasm in check.
“Hi, Jack.” She smiled as she stood in doorway.
“I think that’s my cue, I’ll let the two of you visit.” The doctor was quick to get up and
remove herself from the room. She motioned for Kate to take her place. On her way out she
closed the door, only by half though. It was policy to leave the door open a little when visitors
were with patients. Kate watched silently as she left.
Kate and Jack then smiled at one another; the silence made them feel a little awkward.
“It’s nice that you came to visit. Please, sit.” He jumped up to get her his desk chair, which he
placed by the bed. He then sat himself after she did.
“Thank you.”
Again, they smiled in awkwardness.
“Roger said he would be by later tonight to visit.” She sat on the edge of the chair and leaned
close, which made Jack nervous. “So how are you?”
“I’m doing well.” He managed to answer her question while his voice squecked, it was a little
embarrassing. “How are you?”
“Happy to see you.”
Her response was surprising to him. “Really?”
“Well, last time things weren’t so good.”
His memory of that visit made him wince. “Sorry about that, it comes along with being friends
with a crazy person.”
“Everyone has a little craziness in them, yours just surfaced very quickly and you lost control of
it. But there are so many people here who want to help you, including me.” Her voice was a
whisper as she spoke her last words. She reached out and took a hold of his hand. He got real
nervous and pulled away. “What is it, Jack? Do I make you uncomfortable?”
He wsn’t sure how to answer and took his time to find the right words. His head was
spinning and he gradded a hold of it to keep himself from whirling away. “You have never
come to visit me by yourself before.” He was taking deep breaths to release the anxiety.
“Do you want me to go, Jack?”
“No, please, I’m fine.” He did not want her to go.
Kate looked into his eyes. “I wanted to come to show you that I wasn’t here for Roger’s sake.”
“Oh.”
“Are you sure your ok?” She was showing some concern. “Maybe I should get the doctor.”
“No, I’m fine, really. Don’t go.”
She smiled and took a deep breath. “So, what should we talk about now?” Kate seemed almost
as nervous as him. They fell into a small silence. “Oh, you know, on the way in a nurse told me
that you were improving, talking more and taking part in the therapy sessions. That’s good.”
“Thanks.” Jack was distracted with something other then therapy that he wanted to talk about.
And he could not stop staring directly at her, almost mesmerized.
Kate looked at him and squinted. “What are you thinking about?”
He was lost for words as his hands went up to cover his face. In Jack’s head he could hear
Marilyn’s voice. “Tell her how you feel.” He hesitated a little. “Do you think someone like me,
in a place like this, could ever find something?” He was kicking himself. “I mean, could
someone like you ever like someone from this place?” A sigh of huge relief overcame him
when he finally was able to push it out, as if it was the hardest thing he ever did. He was not sure
if he said it right and he then became more nervous waiting for her answer.
She blushed and stood. “Are you asking me if I like you, Jack?”
He remained grounded in position, not knowing what to say next.
Kate didn’t wait for an answer, she knew it anyway. “When people are sick like yourself,
things can’t be rushed. Further mending is needed.” He nodded to agree but could not help to
smile at her smile. His heart began to beat faster. “You still haven’t answered me.” He still said
nothing. “Maybe I should leave so you can think about my question.” She smiled and turned for
the door.
“Ask her, Jack.” He quickly ran to the desk and turned on the stereo and changed the stations
until he found a slow and romantic tune. It was enough to make Kate freeze in her tracks. Jack stumbled a
bit with his words. “Would you.... umm... like to dance.” He held out his hand. A smile grew on
her face as she accepted and took a hold. Their bodies came together and they slowly started to
dance with no words being exchanged, and she rested her head on his shoulder. Jack then
whispered under his breath. “Thank you, Marilyn."
*************
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